10) Complimentary and mandatory airport pat down service. Since you can't actually hop through the x-ray machine they take you aside and rub you up and down...most action I've had in months!
9) Half Price Massage.
"Your right leg, it's so firm and toned!"
"That's a cast"
"Ohhh...half price for you"
(Only 25% off for you buddy)
8) I always have two sticks handy that resemble ski poles, which is to say I can always pull off the 'skiers leaning on their ski poles look'. Totally rad to drop this at a bus shelter.
"WHOA is that dude like skiing right now? Oh...he's on crutches. He must have totally broken his leg while hucking a sick cliff. That's totally f-n rad!"
(This SCREAMS 'I am cool', and I rock this move like nobodies business)
7) I can, at any point in time, at any hour, minute or second throughout the day, break out into a random tap dance routine with my cast. Michael Flatley lookout...
"Yeah I'm badass. I'm wearing spandex pants, a circus jacket, and I'm blowing flames out of my ass right now"
6) Two Words: KILLER LATS
Two More: Nice Shorts! (where can I get a pair of those for my next ultra)
5) You can look twice as drunk on half the alcohol
"How many drinks you had son?"
"Oh HAHA, you're on crutches, can I buy ya another?"
4) By the end of this six weeks I can virtually guarantee that I will NEVER get armpit chafing from simply running again. Can you say Monkey Butt Armpits
That's just gross...is that even real??
3) I'm totally getting rich once I patent this thing
(Every time I hit up a coffee shop I get mad props!)
2) At least five times a day, I break out into random air guitar moves
(At least twice a day I find myself wearing this hot outfit)
1) During laundry days I actually taunt my socks
"Hey ya little bastards, ya wanna make a break for it today? GO FOR IT! I don't need you, I've never needed you, there's too many of you to go around. I don't even know what to do with all of you right now. I'm giving you all five days. If half a dozen of you aren't gone by Friday I'm starting in on the natural selection process"
"Screw you and you're 5th metatarsal, I'm heading to Mexico!"