10) Complimentary and mandatory airport pat down service. Since you can't actually hop through the x-ray machine they take you aside and rub you up and down...most action I've had in months!
9) Half Price Massage.
"Your right leg, it's so firm and toned!"
"That's a cast"
"Ohhh...half price for you"
(Only 25% off for you buddy)
8) I always have two sticks handy that resemble ski poles, which is to say I can always pull off the 'skiers leaning on their ski poles look'. Totally rad to drop this at a bus shelter.
"WHOA is that dude like skiing right now? Oh...he's on crutches. He must have totally broken his leg while hucking a sick cliff. That's totally f-n rad!"
(This SCREAMS 'I am cool', and I rock this move like nobodies business)
7) I can, at any point in time, at any hour, minute or second throughout the day, break out into a random tap dance routine with my cast. Michael Flatley lookout...
"Yeah I'm badass. I'm wearing spandex pants, a circus jacket, and I'm blowing flames out of my ass right now"
6) Two Words: KILLER LATS
Two More: Nice Shorts! (where can I get a pair of those for my next ultra)
5) You can look twice as drunk on half the alcohol
"How many drinks you had son?"
"Ummm, one"
"Oh HAHA, you're on crutches, can I buy ya another?"
4) By the end of this six weeks I can virtually guarantee that I will NEVER get armpit chafing from simply running again. Can you say Monkey Butt Armpits
That's just gross...is that even real??
3) I'm totally getting rich once I patent this thing
(Every time I hit up a coffee shop I get mad props!)
2) At least five times a day, I break out into random air guitar moves
(At least twice a day I find myself wearing this hot outfit)
1) During laundry days I actually taunt my socks
"Hey ya little bastards, ya wanna make a break for it today? GO FOR IT! I don't need you, I've never needed you, there's too many of you to go around. I don't even know what to do with all of you right now. I'm giving you all five days. If half a dozen of you aren't gone by Friday I'm starting in on the natural selection process"
"Screw you and you're 5th metatarsal, I'm heading to Mexico!"
GR