Close, But No Cigarette

Thank you everyone for all the heartfelt support and well wishes. It’s been quite an emotional rollercoaster these last few days.

I just want to say a few quick things right now before delving deeper into my full race experience in the coming days.

First and foremost, congratulations to John Kelly on becoming the 15th ever finisher of The Barkley Marathons! John and I got to spend four laps together and we were a great team. I have a solid grasp on most of the course, as does John and we worked together very effectively to help launch each other into lap 5 with enough time to close it out.

John grew up in Oak Ridge, 30 minutes away, and he and his family have been hiking and camping in the park his entire life. When we discussed lap 5 direction, while on loop 4, John said “When I’ve dreamed of finishing Barkley, it’s always been while coming down Chimney Top (clockwise) as I’ve hiked there so much with my family.”

John Kelly is the 15th person to ever finish The Barkley Marathons. John Kelly deserves more congrats and recognition than I do right now. Please take a second to properly congratulate him on his phenomenal accomplishment.

Regarding my finish yesterday. After collecting my 13th and final book page, having not stopped moving for even a second on my fifth and final lap, the fog had once again set in. As I went over the final bump on the course I knew I would hit a trail, go left, and run down into camp with maybe five minutes to spare, but the math added up, I was going to make it.

In the fog I was a few degrees off course and when I hit my trail I must’ve trended into it left and then continued following it, now counting down the minutes till I would intersect the final turn down the last switchbacks into camp, with about two miles to go.

Something didn’t feel right though, it was taking too long (like these brief few words) so I checked direction and it seemed to be right, but in my deprived state I didn’t assess that I should have rapidly been heading east, and not south for more then a few seconds. I pushed harder now, wondering why the “pillars of death” just would not appear. Did I step over them in the fog and not realize it? No I thought, not possible, so I pushed harder, and then I came to a staircase. There are no staircases on the Barkley course, not a one.

I ripped open my map and the gravity of things hit me. I did not have enough time left to correct my mistake by going up and over the mountain again. If I did this I would have finished in maybe 60:05 and I would not be an official Barkley Marathons finisher. Here’s the thing though, that’s exactly what I should have done, and the one regret I have after now sleeping is not doing just that.

The Barkley Marathons is not an orienteering style race. You do not get to select the route that best favors you between books. You need to navigate between books, off trail, but in a very specific direction of travel. My finish, even if it were 6 seconds faster would not have counted. I put Laz and the race in a precarious situation and in hindsight I’m glad I was six seconds over so that we didn’t have to discuss the validity of my finish.

In that raw moment however, I see two options, turn back up the mountain and finish over time, or shoot a bearing and find yet one more reserve of energy to get to the yellow gate in under 60 hours. I bushwhacked down the mountain at breakneck speed and I found myself at a large river. The river was maybe fifteen feet wide and absolutely raging from all the rain we were experiencing. I took one step off the river bank and was already chest deep. I would never have made the decision to attempt to swim such waters under anything other than a highly sleep deprived and stressed state of mind.

I washed out on the other side maybe thirty feet down stream. I continued buswhacking and quickly spotted the road into camp. I had less than three minutes left till the sixty hour cutoff. I thrashed my way to the road and put my head down and gutted out the hardest three minutes of my life to collapse at the gate, overtime, and from the wrong direction. I did not finish The Barkley Marathons, and that is no one’s fault but my own. That one fatal error with just over two miles to go haunts me.

Congrats to John Kelly on one hell of a run and thanks to every single person who makes The Barkley what it is.

My crew were amazing and I can’t thank them enough for all that they did for me this past weekend. Linda, Reed, Shawn, Kim and Ethan. I love you guys and I couldn’t have come so close without each and every one of you.

 GR

Comments

134 responses to “Close, But No Cigarette”

  1. Glenn Nicholls Avatar
    Glenn Nicholls

    Oh Gary. I followed the race closely over the weekend and then could not believe the result on Monday. What an emotional ride, and I was just following it!! Congratulations though on a solid run. You looked strong at every visit to the yellow gate.

  2. Kristin Melbye Bass Avatar
    Kristin Melbye Bass

    I too, was glued to my Twitter feed for this event (in fact joined Twitter this weekend just for the Barkley updates). I was cheering so hard for you and was crushed by the 6 seconds update! But you lived a story so suspenseful that only rare movies create, and fave us a real hero in the processes! You are truly an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us!

  3. Bob Davidson Avatar
    Bob Davidson

    Congrats Gary! Third time’s a charm!

  4. Cheryl Woodhouse Avatar
    Cheryl Woodhouse

    Yes! Congrats to John. What an amazing finish.

    I followed your training on Strava and YouTube after seeing your wonderland fkt on Ethan’s YouTube channel and being inspired by your sheer determination. Knowing you ran that trail just 6 weeks before your son – and my son Phoenix in a neat coincidence – was born made me want to cheer for you. Knowing you’re a local B.C. runner when I’m just 90 minutes away made me want to cheer even harder (and curse the snow with you. Worst. Winter. Ever.)

    Regardless of this outcome you’re an amazingly accomplished athlete and I have a lot of respect for you. With this outcome and your honesty, I have even more respect.

    And I’m sure nobody would fault you for it if you decided not to give it another try next year.

    But I know trails, and I know runners, and I think you’ll be back. We all know you can do this, even if you never want to see the BCMC again. Ha!

    Best from the Fraser Valley…

  5. Robb Kerr Avatar
    Robb Kerr

    You’re a legend! Keep it up! I’m in South Korea and although there is a community here, I certainly draw a lot of inspiration from the community back home. Cheers! (I’m raising a glass to you now!)

  6. Tom Rogozinski Avatar
    Tom Rogozinski

    just a simple, thank you, Gary. As an elementary school principal in Oregon, it is an honor to share your example with my students and staff of your tenacity, passion, and grit in pursuit of a noble goal, and then the utmost grace and dignity you exuded in response to the disappointment of coming up just a bit short. Thank you.

  7. Nathan Tobiason Avatar
    Nathan Tobiason

    good luck next year gary. you are a beast and have a great attitude.

  8. Kenneth Avatar
    Kenneth

    As was said by other comments, thank you. Leading up to the race, your hard work was mind blowing. The drama of the race more exciting than any other recent event I can think of. I spent hours refreshing twitter in hopes a great news. Thoughts of concern also crept in the last minutes of the race.As the finish became apparent your efforts still spoke for themselves. Late, short the distance or off couse, it is still a remarkable accomplishment.Thank you also for your respect and humility in handling the results. Your attitude in an inspiration. Hopefully it can spread to others.

  9. Anil Rao Avatar
    Anil Rao

    You are a terrific runner and phenomenal individual Gary, After your showdown at Last year’s event I had no doubts abt your finish this year, you are right there with select few of this community. Recover well.

  10. Philipp Schilcher Avatar
    Philipp Schilcher

    I often find myself choosing between two trails in the woods purely by gut feeling. I also hate that feeling of not knowing wether to turn back or press on just a little further. You’ve gained a new fan this weekend. You came so close and that in itself is amazing.

  11. David F. Baskwill Avatar
    David F. Baskwill

    The story you get to tell about this is unbelievable. In the years to come, you will be heralded as one of the greats. Finishers may come and go, but you will be remembered.

  12. Anthony Waller Avatar
    Anthony Waller

    Your athletic talent and dedication to training were apparent from the past and leading up to the race. During the race as runners from around the world including from here in Israel followed every twitter update, we felt also your incredible mental fortitude. In those moving finishing scenes and in your initial report we have appreciated your grace and sportsmanship. Congratulations of course to your co-traveller John Kelly – but yours is the story of legends.

  13. Jessica Gracie-Griffin Avatar
    Jessica Gracie-Griffin

    Dear Gary,Thank you for showing my six year old son what sportsmanship, grit, and integrity look like. You are a true role model. As a runner and a parent, it is not always easy to teach your kids how to be in this world and reach their goals with dignity, despite discouragement. Your race was such a shining example. Much gratitude from Ireland!Jessica

  14. Jessica Gracie-Griffin Avatar
    Jessica Gracie-Griffin

    Dear Gary,Thank you for showing my six year old son what sportsmanship, grit, and integrity look like. You are a true role model. As a runner and a parent, it is not always easy to teach your kids how to be in this world and reach their goals with dignity, despite discouragement. Your race was such a shining example. Much gratitude from Ireland!Jessica

  15. Eric Gras Avatar
    Eric Gras

    Hi Gary I followed your run for these 60hrs. What an incredible achievement, I’d say the point of Barkley is not exactly to be 6secs faster and I am sure Laz will agree. That said, I can imagine the disappointment at the finish. All the best for your recovery, you wrote another Barkley tale that will be remembered. Eric from France

  16. Ali Wood Avatar
    Ali Wood

    Class. Respect.

  17. Michael Brooks Avatar
    Michael Brooks

    Respect!

  18. Matt Picard Avatar
    Matt Picard

    Gary,

    Your "tremendous failure" has been an inspiration to me over the past few days of training. We’ve had some less than favorable weather here, and thinking of your and John’s efforts at the Barkley were pure motivation. Even though you didn’t finish the Barkley this year, you have much to be proud of. Looking forward to following you again on Twitter next year.

  19. Chuck Mullis Avatar
    Chuck Mullis

    I respect your integrity, display of character, authenticity and strength! Press on!

  20. Ian Britton Avatar
    Ian Britton

    You are amazing.

  21. Horia Vasilief Avatar
    Horia Vasilief

    Good luck next year ! ’till then, can’t wait G.R.’s video of your experience

  22. Linda Care Penney Avatar
    Linda Care Penney

    Having read your story Gary, to me you are amazing!! I congratulate John Kelly on having finished the race, but I also congratulate you for your blood, sweat and tears, and the sheer determination it must have taken to continue despite the possible outcome. I wish you all the best if you ever decide to run the Barkley Marathon again.

  23. Linda Care Penney Avatar
    Linda Care Penney

    Having read your story Gary, to me you are amazing!! I congratulate John Kelly on having finished the race, but I also congratulate you for your blood, sweat and tears, and the sheer determination it must have taken to continue despite the possible outcome. I wish you all the best if you ever decide to run the Barkley Marathon again.

  24. Daniel Ott Avatar
    Daniel Ott

    I read first in the Swiss news (watson) about you and I was astonished about your unbelievable run! Your willpower to survive such a race is just incredible. This 6 seconds will give you more good than bad luck for your future. Nothing can stop you now.You are a very inspiring person! You make people believe in them self. Thank you for that.

  25. Jim Banfi Avatar
    Jim Banfi

    Can I say that the manner in which you have conducted yourself post race has been truly magnificent. You are a fine man Mr Robbins. If anyone ever asks what long distance running is about – they should read your blog. Jim Banfi -UK

  26. Jim Banfi Avatar
    Jim Banfi

    Can I say that the manner in which you have conducted yourself post race is truly magnificent. You are fine man Mr Robbins. Anyone wanting to know what long distance running is all about should read your blog

  27. Rick Ruggles Avatar
    Rick Ruggles

    You finished with gratitude and a full Heart. You win Gary.

  28. Wesley Booth Avatar
    Wesley Booth

    You are just awesome! An absolute perfect example of class and sportsmanship! Thank you Gary for the way you conduct your self, you are an example for all!

    Thank you Gary!

  29. Tyler Welch Avatar
    Tyler Welch

    I’ve been inspired by your words and story. I know you’ll keep going. What haunts us today motivates us tomorrow. Be well.

  30. Chris Chris Avatar
    Chris Chris

    What an incredible amazing journey you have been on the last 2 years it is truly inspiring to us all. from the training videos to the GR on going documentary i feel lucky to have been able to follow it. Gary your sportsmanship and class as well as your resolve is an example for us all in our own pursuits. I truly hope you decide to return next year and finish this dream in epic fashion.

  31. Noah Bloom Avatar
    Noah Bloom

    Your respect for this race despite this possible controversy speaks volumes about your integrity. Bravo. It was great following your journey to Barkley.

  32. Joshua Patrick Avatar
    Joshua Patrick

    WOW. you the man regardless. Anyone who does the 5 laps is an elite runner.

  33. Rick Macias Avatar
    Rick Macias

    Very refreshing in this day and age to hear your honesty. One of the greatest characteristics is integrity and you exemplify that.

  34. fajar dwi santoso Avatar
    fajar dwi santoso

    just watched the whole documentary and you were absolutely both amazing and inpiring at the same time. greeting from Indonesia Mr. Gary!

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